Disclaimer: The following is not a real episode script for It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia Season 16. However, it’s an idea that would make for an awesome episode.
INT. PADDY’S PUB – DAY
The gang is sitting at the bar, scrolling through their phones.
Charlie: (excitedly) Hey guys, have you heard of this thing called Twitter?
Dennis: (sarcastically) Oh yeah, Charlie. It’s only been around for like, 15 years.
Charlie: (ignoring Dennis) Well, I just signed up for it and it’s pretty cool. I can follow all my favorite birdwatchers and keep up with the news.
Dee: (skeptical) I don’t know, Charlie. Twitter is full of trolls and bots. It’s a cesspool of negativity.
Mac: (defensively) Hey, I use Twitter to follow my favorite MMA fighters. It’s a great way to stay connected to the sport.
Frank: (gruffly) I don’t need Twitter. I’ve got my own social media platform – Frankbook. It’s way better than anything Mark Zuckerberg could come up with.
Suddenly, Charlie’s phone buzzes with a notification.
Charlie: (reading the notification) What the hell? Twitter is shutting down?
Dennis: (smugly) Looks like Elon Musk finally made it go bankrupt.
Charlie: (panicked) But I just joined! I haven’t even had a chance to tweet anything yet.
Dee: (sarcastically) Oh no, Charlie. What are you going to do without your precious birdwatchers?
Mac: (optimistically) Don’t worry, Charlie. There’s always Facebook and Instagram.
Frank: (gruffly) Or you could just use Frankbook. I’ve got all the social media features you need – friends, photos, and a “piss off” button.
Charlie: (defeated) I don’t want Frankbook. I wanted Twitter. This sucks.
Dennis: (smugly) Welcome to the world of social media, Charlie. Where everything is fleeting and temporary.
Dee: (sarcastically) Yeah, just like your dreams and aspirations.
Mac: (optimistically) But don’t worry, Charlie. Twitter might come back someday. And until then, you can always watch birds the old-fashioned way – with a pair of binoculars.
Charlie: (resigned) I guess you’re right, Mac. It’s not the end of the world. But it still sucks.
Frank: (gruffly) Don’t worry, Charlie. I’ll always have Frankbook. And I’ll never abandon you like Elon Musk did to Twitter.
Charlie: (sighing) Thanks, Frank. I appreciate that.
The gang raises their glasses in a toast.
Gang: To social media – may it never die.